Did you expect your spiritual awakening to be difficult?
Spiritual awakening is a destructive process. You are now confronting your previous self and having to see the cold harsh reality. Instead of looking away, you must turn inwards to find relief.
This stage of your spiritual awakening is setting the path for the rest of your journey. You have many thoughts, beliefs and identifications that you must sort through. This time in your journey is about finding truth. It’s the ultimate letting go of your former self and realizing who and what you really are.
Why Spiritual Awakening is Difficult
The core definition of spiritual awakening is “letting go”.
Imagine you’re on a cliff, you’re thinking about jumping off but you’re scared. All of your friends jumped, they all came out safely. Yet you’re still scared.
Your body is telling you not to move, paralyzed in fear. Your friend comes up behind you and pushes you off.
You land safely in the water.
Awakening is just like this. Sometimes we are not ready for what the universe is about to show us. We awaken into a new world suddenly without any idea how to process this experience.
Most don’t awaken fully. We find that separation in our minds for just a split second, and that is enough if we are brave enough to move forward.
It’s easier to go back to living in an egoic state. It’s easier to not give up things that you thought you once loved. It’s hard to continue ripping open the small opening in the void and finding out the true reality of nature itself.
But it doesn’t matter, what is done is done.
You can fight it, but you’re fighting a losing battle.
Most of everything you once loved will be taken away from you.
You will lose friends, you will lose relationships, you will lose hobbies, you might even decide to quit your job.
This process is extremely painful.
No One is Ready
It’s hard to explain to someone who hasn’t woken up what it’s like on the other side.
Awakening is like riding a roller coaster, you just have to ride one yourself to understand what the experience is like.
I wasn’t ready when I awoke. I had a sudden awakening that came right before college. Was I ready then?
Hell no. That ruined my college experience. Instead of going out with friends, I was sitting alone in my room trying to process the sheer insanity of spiritual awakening and what it all means.
Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t have it any other way. That integration period is necessary so that you can move forward. You are holding beliefs about yourself and the world that must be tested. You’ll have to go through them one by one until you strip away every layer of your being.
Until there’s nothing left.
That’s what awakening is. It’s the stripping away of everything. Awakening cuts to the core of humanity. It’s painful looking back and realizing you aren’t the same person you were before you had awoken.
Almost everyone wears a mask. Awakening rips away your egoic thoughts/desires and throws away any sort of mask you tried to hide behind.
A bit scary, right?
But imagine what it’s like living without a mask. Never having to second guess who you are and what life is about.
The pain is worth the years of enjoyment to come.
Staying On the Path
The farther you are on your journey, the harder it is to strafe off the path.
Now, what do I mean by this?
Adyashanti once said something along the lines of “The farther you are on your path, the higher the stakes”
We don’t get the option to hurt, lie, cheat or steal. Our spiritual awakening doesn’t get the option to live a life that is a lie. We don’t get to give into our egoic desires.
The farther we are in the journey, the more in line with our soul we must become. This can be difficult coping with because it might conflict with who we think ourselves to be and we must begin letting go of that idea.
I had a great attachment to money. It was never enough. I wasn’t happy, and I couldn’t find the joy in the present. I wasn’t sleeping, I wasn’t eating, I felt on top of the world yet at the lowest low at the same time.
My body was rejecting my entire experience. Over time I had most of my wealth ripped away from me.
I’m not blaming anyone other than myself for my own actions, but how ironic is it that my biggest fear came true?
I had to realize, in every moment there is something deeper. We cannot look outside of our experiences for any sort of fulfillment.
There is always the option to accept our present reality. This is why it can be so difficult.
I didn’t accept that my purpose on this planet was to help others and give back. My ego didn’t want to live a life for others. I just wanted more.
More turned into less over time and I finally gave into what I knew to be the truth for so long.
I was closeted about my spirituality, about my ability to help others.
We must ACCEPT the present rather than deny. Imagine how many people are living lives they aren’t in line with?
How many people stay in a relationship out of fear?
Countless people work a job they don’t want to because they’re afraid they might fail in their dreams?
How many people are addicted to substances out of fear of reality itself?
How to Deal With Your Spiritual Awakening
The way we deal with this is simple, yet difficult to execute.
We just let go.
Our journey is going to be nothing but this.
People we love will die as we get older. Family, spouses, children.
We will die, there is no way of getting around that. As bleak as it may sound, this is the key to peace of mind. This is the key to life and awakening itself.
I can type the words fairly easily, but practicing it, in reality, takes patience. Often life doesn’t wait for us to let go, it forces us to let go. It pushes us off the cliff if we are ready or not.
I lost plenty of friends along the way. My family thought I was going mentally insane. I had no one to talk to.
I was so lonely.
I was scared and felt like a child. Depressed and angry. I felt as if there was just a cloud hanging over me at all times. This lasted for what must have been a few years.
Even 10 years later I still have to deal with letting go. And by letting go I mean REALLY LETTING GO.
Letting go is not just a thought. It’s not an action. It is the feeling itself. The feeling knowing that this too shall pass.
We get two options in our lives. We can harbor all the pain, all the rage, all the destruction inside of us OR we understand that our attachments cause us suffering and it’s time to let go of it all.
Just. Let. Go.
Sometimes we bang our heads against a steel wall when we just had to jump through the window.
When we awaken, we must come face to face with everything that has conditioned us throughout our lifetimes. This can be brutal if you lived a difficult life. Having to face all of your previous traumas, internal conflicts, and your beliefs. The idea in itself is a bit daunting but doing it, in reality, is a different story.
You can’t expect to work through this in one day.
It could be months, it could be years for some.
Go easy on yourself, realize that you have time. Realize that this too shall pass.
Understand you aren’t alone, the universe is with us at all times. We are being shown what we need to be shown in the present moment.
As hard as it may be, we must face the void. We have to have the courage to stand up inside us and face our biggest fears, our biggest regrets, our biggest failures.
We have to be thoughtful, we have to be kind.
Things will get better. If you’re reading this and you’re going through a particularly hard time on your spiritual journey, realize that this is the biggest gift you can receive.
Without learning how to let go, we wouldn’t wake up to what reality is. If we didn’t get pushed off that cliff, we would have never jumped in.
Spiritual awakening isn’t about you, it’s only the realization of the totality in true nature. Spiritual awakening is a difficult process that can sometimes take years to resolve until life feels a bit more “normal. If you require assistance, you can personally message me any inquiry you have and I will attempt to help you along your journey.
If I had to tell you one thing, it’s that it won’t be hard forever. The reason why spiritual awakening can be so difficult is that it literally is the destruction of everything you thought you once knew. While it does sound a bit harmful, the end result of awakening is anything but.
There is a whole new world waiting to be explored. Don’t get stuck, continue looking inward, you have all the answers inside of you.
A good mentor who I truly believe in is Adyashanti. You can check out his Youtube channel here.