“I Have No Friends”: 11 Simple Tips To Fix It

It’s Friday afternoon. You’re winding down and prepping for the weekend. You check your phone and see everyone preparing to go out for the night.

Except you. You’re alone. And lonely. If only you had some friends..

Sound familiar?

“Having a lot of friends” doesn’t equate to having good friends. It’s the quality, not the quantity. You can still be around friends and have plenty of problems.

The grass is always greener. Making friends won’t fix you. If you have issues with creating social relationships that last, then the problem lies within you.

And that’s alright. This is your chance to change. The first step has already been taken.

Together, we will break down why it’s ok if have no friends and 11 ways to deal with it.

Let’s dive right in.

“I have no friends” and Why It’s OK

Having no friends is the time to connect with yourself.

You can be ALONE without being LONELY. Being alone to me is period of reflection, not embarrassment.

Life is a roller coaster. You’ll have many friends at one point and then suddenly have none. Just a few years ago I had more friends than I knew what to do with – that changed when we all went separate ways.

That was a chance for me to work on the parts of myself that had been ignored.

Being alone does not mean you are a loser. The ability to be happy, by yourself, is one that breeds envy.

You’ll flip the script when happiness resides in you even without friends. You will have an unlimited amount of positive energy to give.

Think about the sun. The sun is constantly giving our galaxy light. At no point is the sun asking for anything in return. Your inner being will do the same in your future interactions.

Use your alone time to fix the issues that have been ignored. Loneliness is a symptom of a neglected soul. Bring nourishment back into your life so that the next period of your life is revitalized.

Either you sulk about your problems or you start getting to work.

But Do You Even Want Friends?

How much effort have you put into actually making(and keeping) friends?

When I get sad I push away everyone close to me. Friends would give up on me eventually after declining their requests to hang out.

Be honest and ask yourself these questions:

  • Am I pushing away loved ones?
  • Have I declined requests to meet up in the past few weeks/months?
  • Have I made any efforts into reaching out to acquaintances?
  • Is there anyone I could rekindle an old relationship with?

You would be surprised at how often we get in front of our own success. And to be perfectly honest, there are times in life when not having friends is a good thing.

You may be too busy or going through an incredibly tough period of time. Staying friends requires effort and you can’t be available at every moment.

You need to be honest with yourself. Do you even want to have friends or are you ok with being alone?

This moment won’t last forever. If you need some time alone to recuperate, then do so.

If you DO want to make friends, then the onus is on you. You’re going to have to do it yourself, just like anything in life. Friends won’t magically drop out of the sky.

You’ve made the first step of identifying that you want to make a change. Now starts the hard part.

Below are 11 things you can do if you feel like “I have no friends”.

1)Practice Talking to People

Lacking social skills can be a problem. You may be communicating poorly without being aware of it. It’s hard to know unless someone is giving you direct feedback.

I used to have NO idea of how to talk to anyone. I felt that anything I had to say would be met with apathy. It took me a few years of practice before feeling that I communicate well.

People will take interest in any topic as YOU are comfortable talking about it. Another trick is that people love to talk about themselves. Ask people about their lives and flow the conversation that way.

Actions to take:

  1. Be vulnerable and talk about your interests. When you speak with confidence, you can talk about how you love pet rocks and as long as its said with enthusiasm, people will take notice.
  2. Speak 20 percent about yourself and 80 percent about the other person. The less you speak about yourself the more people feel engaged. No one likes a one-sided conversation.

2)Be Alone

When your soul feels empty, no friend or relationship will be able to fill it. While others can temporarily distract you from your feelings, you’ll be right where you started.

Having no friends doesn’t mean you give up on yourself and cry away your evenings. These moments in life are an invitation to change perspectives and reconsider how we’ve been living.

Life is about ups and downs. We all feel lonely at times. The solution is to stop hiding from our emotions and begin fixing our lives from the root of the issue.

Actions to take:

  1. Practice spirituality. Start asking deep questions like “Who am I” and “What is my purpose”. Your goal is to better your understanding of yourself and the universe.
  2. Start meditating. You’ll find that life begins working itself out once you practice residing within the present moment.

3)Become a Yes-man (or woman)

Opportunities are gone the moment you say no. What would your life look like if you were to say yes to the next social event you were invited to?

When I was offered to sleep on a friend’s coach for a month if I moved there, I said yes. I didn’t know anyone other than him there and when I got there he introduced me to more friends that I could have ever imagined having before then.

If I didn’t say yes, I wouldn’t have the amazing friendships from that lasted from that period in my life. You only need to befriend ONE right person and your entire life can change.

Actions to take:

  1. Say YES next time a social outing is offered. You may meet someone who is invaluable to your life. It’ll help you gain confidence.
  2. Taking more risks in life brings adventure. The only thing holding you back is fear. Try to mix it up a bit!

4) Become Interesting

Friendships are made when both parties have something to offer. Boring the heck out of everyone means its time to change.

Being interesting means knowing who you are. When you’re confident in your own value, you aren’t afraid to speak your mind. Confidence is an energy that can be sensed.

Start enjoying life and people will seek YOU out. Having a purpose and meaning in life takes you a long way.

Actions to take:

  1. Pick up a new hobby. It only matters that you find it interesting. Don’t worry about what other people will think, as long as you are congruent, nothing else matters.
  2. Watch movies and listen to a wide variety of music. Being able to connect with people on their taste in film and music is a big selling point.

5) Rekindle Old Relationships

Fell out of touch with an old friend? It’s never too late to contact them.

I was back in my hometown when my mother fell ill. I had left all my friends in my old city and needed to get out of the house. I messaged a few old acquantinces and found out they were still around.

Both of us were in the same position. It felt good to reconnect and reminisces.

Actions to take:

  1. Message an old friend or acquaintance that you think you might get along with and see how they’re doing.
  2. Ask them to meet up for a cup of coffee and catch up.

6) Stop Being So Hard on Yourself

It doesn’t matter that you don’t have any friends. All it means is that you don’t have friends RIGHT NOW. No one will judge you as long as you don’t judge yourself.

Beating yourself up isn’t going to help you make friends. It’s only going to hurt you when others sense that you aren’t comfortable in your own skin.

Relax for a while and start being ok with having no friends. You’ll make friends eventually, it’s only a matter of time.

Actions to take:

  1. Stop judging yourself. You aren’t helping your cause by bringing negativity into your life.
  2. Realize the only person who isn’t ok with you having no friends is yourself. It’s ok, it’s normal.

7) Join a Community

Friends share interests. Communities exist for every hobby, you just need to put in the effort to find them. Even incredibly niche communities like crocheting exist.

Meeting up with people who share the same interests is one of the easiest ways to make new friends. I even found a group that met up every week to meditate! The people are out there, you need to find them.

Actions to take:

  1. Find where people who enjoy your hobby meet up and go.
  2. Talk to everyone and see who you get along with. Exchange information and go to meet up again.

8)Talk to People Online

It’s 2020. Having online friends is more normal than not. The amazing part of online friends is there an infinite amount of people to talk with.

Online friends got me through difficult times. Some of my friends I met online are still friends I talk to, 10 years later.

Don’t let stigmas keep you from making friends. You’re already browsing online communities every day – why not take advantage of them?

Actions to take:

  1. Find out where like-minded people gather. Reddit, Twitch, Youtube, just to name a few.
  2. Put yourself out there. Let people know that you want to be friends and join a group chat.

9) Stop Being Afraid of Friendship

I’ve been hurt in the past. Big time, by people I called “friends”. “I’ll never make a friend again” I told myself.

But as time went on, I realized that I couldn’t survive with that attitude. People are meant to be with people. Yes, I had trust issues, but that doesn’t mean I should go through life alone.

Friends are transient. You’ll have moments where your phone won’t stop ringing and another where you’ve moved and know no one. That’s a part of life.

Actions to take:

  1. Let yourself potentially get hurt again.
  2. Stop projecting your bad interactions onto others. Not every person in the world is going to hurt you.

10) Be Your Own Friend

If you can’t make friends at the moment then this is for you. You can be your own friend. It’ll make the present moment exponentially better and pave the way for making friends easier.

People like people who are happy. The energy that you let out is able to felt. Like attracts like. It’s no wonder that happy people always seem to be surrounded by friends.

Find out what you like. Take a risk. Enjoy life. Go for a hike. The possibilities are endless.

Actions to take:

  1. Take a break and relax. Remind yourself that this time will pass and you will make friends when life allows you.
  2. Make sure all of your needs are being met. Eating, sleeping, enjoyment.

11) Put in Effort

You get what you put into life. Put in zero effort into making friends and you will have zero friends.

It’s easy to sit around and mope and say “I have no friends”. The hard part is putting in the effort. That’s why you need to make sure that you even WANT to make friends. You’ll get in front of yourself if you aren’t careful.

Put in the extra effort. There are 7 billion + people on this Earth. There isn’t a remote possibility that not one person would be your friend.

Actions to take:

  1. Stop moping around and start making an effort into finding friends.
  2. Be patient. Rome wasn’t built in a day.
About Roy Cohen

Hi there! I'm the founder of Claiming Clarity. My passion in life is helping people live better. If you'd like to learn more, check out the about page.

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