I Hate My Life: 15 Steps To Get on Your Feet [Using Science]

Some periods of life are difficult to get through. It’ll seem like it’ll never get better and you’re permanently stuck in the mental state you’re in now.

I’m here to tell you that life can change – quickly! Over the past six months I’ve completely turned my life around. I was wasting my entire day oversleeping, playing video games until late at night and basking in self hatred.

I hated myself. It all changed when I had enough and decided to get to work.

You’re wondering what to do when you hate your life and that’s ok. You want to change!

Together, we will go through 15 ways to get you back on your feet.

If you’re ready, shall we?

1) Be Easy on Yourself

Give yourself a break. You deserve it.

You have problems that need to be solved. You’re creating more problems on top of your already existing problems with negative self-talk.

I used to always beat myself up. I couldn’t get to the first step, I was quitting before I even started. I got sick of being in this eternal negative thought pattern. The solution?

Simply being kind to myself.

2) Get Ready to Get Dirty

You need to be prepared to get your hands dirty and start tackling your problems.

When you stay inactive, your issues begin to compound. Suddenly time is flying by and you’re up to your neck with unattended problems from weeks ago.

Even small steps like cleaning your bedroom or taking out the trash can help ease the mental strain. This study shows that a clean house leads to an overall healthier existence.

You’ll feel better by taking action and that will lead to more action taking. Start the snowball.

3) It’s Never Too Late

You aren’t beyond repair. If you are capable of reading and understanding these words then you are capable of repairing your life.

Understanding why it’s so difficult to change will help you be prepared for each stage encounter.

The transtheoretical model suggests that change is a group of stages rather than an instantaneous leap.

Which stage are you on right now? You are likely either on NO, or MAYBE.

You won’t even start taking action until the 4th step! The hardest part is going from a NO to a MAYBE, and then you will be able to start preparing to better your life.

It’s never too late.

4) Help Someone

If you refuse to help yourself right now, help someone else.

Everyone is capable of being compassionate. Even if you have feel that you aren’t capable of doing any good, helping someone in need will make you feel better.

Compassion is hardwired into our brains to make us feel good. Your only goal now should be to start feeling good again, so why not help someone else?

Giving or receiving compassion can make you healthier and happier. Experience the joy through acts of kindness.

Amit Sood, M.D

5) Take the Low Hanging Fruit

You only hate yourself now because it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Take the opportunities that are easy to accomplish before tackling the bigger issues.

  1. Eat less processed foods
  2. Go for a walk/exercise
  3. Ring up a friend
  4. Call your parents
  5. Clean your apartment/house

These acts make seem small, and they are. The point is to feel good, even if it’s only for a brief moment.

This study shows that the sun is a major provider of vitamin D. Evidence suggests that people who live in colder/darker climates during the winter are more likely to research depression during the winter. Taking a walk outside and getting some fresh air can be your ticket to feeling better.

6) Get Spiritual

As difficult as it seems right now, this is the best moment to look within.

I LOVE it when I feel down. I get to explore what’s eating away at me and gain an appreciation for when I’m happy.

Becoming spiritual doesn’t mean you need to be religious. Spirituality is when you start questioning your purpose in life and who you are.

You might be unhappy where you are in life and feel that you need a change. That’s why spirituality is so powerful, it gives the answers you’re looking for.

True fulfillment is found from within, no where else.

7) Sleep Better

I had a period where I was so stressed I couldn’t sleep for months.

I went nearly insane. The police were called to check up on me, it got that bad. Lack of sleeping was making life miserable. I had to make a change in my life so that I could sleep again.

Sleep is a priority now for me. I go to sleep around the same time every night and when I lose sleep even for a night, I feel it.

60-90 minutes of more sleep has been found to increase your memory, create a stronger immune system, and improves your ability to concentrate.

And best of all? Sleeping an extra hour is free.

8) It Won’t Be Like This Forever..

When you feel like you hate yourself you feel that nothing will change and that it won’t ever get better.

That’s the sadness in you talking. But let’s be real, that isn’t the truth.

It’s normal to feel that you’re the only person in the world going through what you’re going through. You know what? You’re right, no one knows how it is to be you.

Change is possible. If you need inspiration, read a biography of someone who went through hardship. Gaining perspective of how miniscule your problems actually are helps in reducing the mental strain that you’re going through.

9) Create a Goal

A Harvard study followed students 10 years after they had graduated.

The students that had written down goals but no concrete plan were making twice as much as the people who hadn’t set goals. The students that had goals AND a plan were making ten times as much as the other 97%.

Money isn’t the answer. I’ll be the first to tell you it won’t make you happy. Having goals does give you something to live for, and that’s when you start feeling happy.

Start small. Make a daily goal.

  • Take out the trash
  • Clean the living room
  • Organize your documents
  • Respond to your emails
  • Get your work/school project done early

You can take on Mt. Everest eventually, but start from the bottom.

10) Figure Out Your Passion

Working a job you hate leads to an unfulfilling life. It doesn’t matter if you make a ton of money, you will feel empty. A study found that harmonious passion appears to contribute to your well-being and protects against ill-being.

I’ve been on both ends of the coin. I thought that if I worked incredibly hard that it would solve my problems. When I got over that mountain, there was another mountain waiting for me.

The problems in life are never-ending. My mistake was thinking I would find happiness after the first mountain. I wasn’t prepared to face the next mountain, and considering I forgot to enjoy my life along the way, I began to feel broken.

I decided to make changes and stop draining myself to reach an arbitrary end goal. My passion now is helping people live better lives and find balance. I’m much happier, too.

11) Accept Your Reality

Changing your life is as simple as accepting where you are, right now. Accept rather than fight.

Thought patterns lose their control on you once you stop giving them attention. Accepting your reality will stop suffering right in its tracks. Even if it’s just for a second, try to accept.

Most people are in conflict with their realities rather than in a state of flow. Would you rather be like water or a piece of concrete?

12) Lower Your Expectations

When I’m eating good food, drinking coffee and able to take a walk on a nice day, I’m capable of feeling happy.

Lower your expectations so that you aren’t constantly disappointed with life. You can’t control everything, giving away your idea of power is a good thing.

I’m not saying completely drop your expectations so that you become a lazy bum. That would be silly! Instead make your barrier for happiness extremely low. To the point that it’s hard not to feel happy every single day.

13) Never Give Up

Dust yourself off. Forgive yourself. Life is too short to get give up.

Broaden your outlook. Think in terms of months rather than weeks. Check how you’re doing a month from now, not every five minutes.

Learning to love yourself is a process that takes time. You won’t fix all of your issues right away.

Promise yourself you won’t give up. You have to keep moving forward because no one else in your life will be able to do it for you.

14) Let Yourself Enjoy For Once

YOLO. What’s all the hard work for if you’re only going to stare at those digits in your bank account?

Learning to balance life is a hard thing to do and tipping over to one side makes life hard to bear. Treat yourself right!

Buy something extravagent for yourself. Break your diet and eat your favorite food. Take a day off and watch your favorite shows on Netflix. You only live once.

The finish line isn’t real. Enjoy what life has to offer on your journey.

15) Ask For Help

I’m just a guy who loves to offer advice on my blog. I don’t know who you are or what you are going through.

I understand that at times you need help getting through rough patches. I’m not ashamed to have gotten help at the lowest points in my life with family and professionals.

I highly advise if you feel the need to pick up the phone and call your family, friends, or a licensed professional so they can help you.

My advice can only help so much. Drop your guard and let someone into your life that is willing to help you.

You deserve to stop hating your life. You’re worthy of happiness even if you can’t see the light, right now.

You will. Keep your head up.

About Roy Cohen

Hi there! I'm the founder of Claiming Clarity. My passion in life is helping people live better. If you'd like to learn more, check out the about page.

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