How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others: 11 Tips

Unless you’re Jeff Bezos, there is always a bigger boat.

Striving for excellence is important. If you’re unable to stop comparing yourself to others, you won’t find satisfaction in success.

Even if you reach the top 1 percent, people are still above you. You’re looking up but forgot about the people that compare themselves to you.

People who seem above you might have something to teach you. You’ll never be able to learn if your ears are shut.

You should be happy that someone is above where you are right now. Use that as fuel to keep you going, but don’t let it torture your every move. In the end, we’re all human.

You’re capable of being content with just the shirt on your back. It’s only when you step outside into the world you start second-guessing yourself.

Your insecurity is revealing emotions inside of you that need to be addressed. Instead of comparing yourself to others and getting down about it – learn how to use it to guide you in the right direction.

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others: 11 Tips

1) You Are Looked Up To

People look up to you. They hunger to eat the same food as you and take steps in your shoes. Their lives are struggle while you live in a paradise.

Getting perspective teaches you how lucky you are. It’s not always about how much money you have or how you’re perceived. Life is much more than the surface details.

Even though at times I feel I’m struggling, I’m still incredibly lucky. I have food to eat every day and a roof over my head. The past year has been difficult for everyone, but I never for a second lost my perspective. That’s how I get through it.

2) Happiness is More Than The Outside

I’ve met countless people that shattered my perception of how life works. People who had no business being happy were 100 percent confident with themselves.

And others who were insecure children. You wouldn’t know it unless you got close to them. You’re comparing yourself to only what you see on the outside.

You never know the full picture. If you did, you’d change your mind in an instant.

3) Focus on Yourself

The best way I found to combat comparing myself is to focus on myself. I am busy enough trying to build my own life up to where I want it to be, comparing myself to anyone else would be exhausting!

Get to where you want to be in life and others will start to look up to you. Be an inspiration for others. Put 110 percent of your effort into living the way you want to live.

You only have a finite amount of energy to spend a day. Why not use it to build up your life instead of bringing you down?

4) Everyone Does It.. Sometimes

Look. I’m not immune to comparing myself to others. I’ve been working on this website and seeing others who started around the same time grow exponentially faster. It didn’t keep me from working. You’re likely reading this after a few months from now, but the truth is if I let myself get down about it – you wouldn’t be reading this!

Everyone compares themselves, sometimes. When that mega-yacht pulls up to the harbor eclipsing the tiny-yacht, the multi-millionaire’s ego takes a beating.

You have to understand that it’s ok to compare, but it’s not ok to become obsessed and let it ruin your day. It’ll never help you get to where you want to be.

5) Address Your Insecurity

Wanting to be in someone else’s position comes from a lack of fulfillment in life. If you find yourself always wanting to trade places with others, you need to take look within.

What is it that’s making you this way?

  • You think you’re not tall enough
  • You’re not attractive enough
  • You don’t have enough money
  • You’re overweight
  • Your hair isn’t the right color

Be honest with yourself. You have to deal with your internal conflicts, otherwise, it’ll be left to run amuck in your brain for eternity. Use that energy to start catapulting your life to where you want to be.

You can spend the next days, months or years wishing you were someone else or you can become exactly who you want to be. It’s your choice.

6) Turn It Into Fuel

It feels like I’m preaching. The truth is, I am.

For good reason, though. You need to use these feelings as leverage. If you can’t bear to be with your feelings, at least use them to get you to point B.

Learn what it means to work hard and accomplish goals. You need to take on an impossible mission and come through the other side with sweat, blood and tears.

Letting these feelings consume you mean that you’ll be left in a loop of always comparing yourself to others. Addressing your emotions is the beginning. Turning these emotions into a source of fuel is how you take your life to the next level.

7) Embrace Your Flaws

I’m not ever going to be Brad Pitt. I’ll never look like a model. My muscular genetics aren’t great for building a physique. I’ll never be a professional bodybuilder.

That’s all ok with me. I had to stop comparing myself with others so I could embrace what made me special.

I’m funny, honest, kind. I love to listen to people and help them. I’m quiet yet sharp. I always have a fire in my eye ready to tackle whatever life has to throw at me.

Find what makes you special. Look to your flaws as part of the bigger picture. Your flaws are just as much a part of you as the defining aspects of your personality.

8) Bring Awareness into your Life

Become mindful of the moment that you began bringing yourself down.

You need to pinpoint the exact moment that starts the vicious cycle of repetitive thoughts. Find what makes you tick so you can start healing your inner wounds.

Address your issues rather than running away. The more you suppress your emotions, the longer they will stick around. You’re not going to find relief in one day or two. But you’re already taking the first step by trying to figure out how to cope with the fact that you’re always comparing yourself to others.

The first step is the hardest and most important. Give yourself time to heal.

9) Accept Your Situation

Part of why you’re stuck in this constant look is that you’re unable to accept either where you are in life.

Being yourself starts with accepting who you are and letting that inner voice out to play. You may be jealous that others are capable of expressing themselves when you have issues expressing your basic desires.

It all starts with acceptance. It’s a simple idea with exponential effect. Imagine what a life would look like if it were in complete acceptance?

Pure, unaltered peace. Start small and then move on to bigger aspects of your life you can bring into acceptance. The change will be enormous.

10) Spend Time With the People You’re Comparing Yourself To

When I started my college life, I would hang out with a childhood friend. I was never popular in school but he was friends with everyone. He invited me over to their house and we hung out for a bit.

What did I witness? The people from my high school, who I thought were “so different than me” and “so cool”, were playing Mario Kart on an N64. They were playing a game that I loved as a kid, and they were enjoying the exact thing that I enjoyed doing.

I realized that I wasn’t so different from them. We were all in it, together. Everyone had their own insecurities and flaws that they had to deal with. That moment really gave me the perspective I needed to stop myself from comparing my life.

11) Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

You’ve become aware of your problem. Taking that first step is always the most difficult.

Now you’re on your journey to becoming who you want to be in life. It won’t be easy. You’ll face challenges along the way.

But you’ll begin to love and appreciate yourself. Once you’ve begun your own journey, comparing yourself to others will become a thing of the past.

I’ve been there. I always wanted to have what the popular kids had. The truth is, you already have what you think they have.

You just need to realize it.

Be patient with it. Show yourself kindness. You’ll get this under control.

About Roy Cohen

Hi there! I'm the founder of Claiming Clarity. My passion in life is helping people live better. If you'd like to learn more, check out the about page.

Leave a Comment