Repeat after me. “I am not the person I once was”.
The past is over. Done-zo. Kaput. And yet your past still has power over you, years later. Always reminding you of what once was.
Always tormenting and preventing you from being happy. Most “solutions” dealing with the past are band-aids. You need to weed the issue out from the source of the problem to find real relief.
Otherwise, you’ll be left running on an eternal treadmill. Letting go of your past is a process that must be done right.
Below you’ll find the 5 steps to learn how to let go of the past and be happy.
How To Let Go Of The Past And Be Happy: 5 Steps
1) Realize Who You Are Now
You aren’t the child that got tormented at school or at home. You aren’t the victim of abuse from a bad relationship. You are not the culmination of your past.
You are only this present moment. It can be hard to see it that way, but suffering stems from attachment to thought. It’s not the events of despair that lead you to be unhappy, it’s the thoughts that stick after that torment you.
You can witness these thoughts occurring in real-time. Thoughts come and go as they please, you have no control over them. If you did, you wouldn’t be having any issues with letting go of the past.
It’s the witnessing of the thoughts coming and going that can free you from them. You’ll see them as what they are – only a thought! Meditation is a great way to start practicing thought awareness.
Even after you realize who you truly are in the present moment, it does not mean that you are fully cured. It’s the first step in the process of healing your past, but it’s the direction you need to take to permanently find relief.
2) Get Ready to Face Your Inner Demons
The constant reminder of your past is a repressed emotion that hasn’t been resolved. These thoughts are your inner demons. Look at them in a positive light for they are showing you the path you need to take to find resolution.
You will only find relief by fully facing your past. The other option is to let these emotions stew inside of you, never resolving on their own.
Find the courage inside to take a deep look at what you’ve been avoiding. Instead of running away from your past, it’s time to let it speak to you. By letting yourself feel these emotions fully, you are releasing them from the deepest parts of your soul.
I can’t know what you have gone through and I’m sure some of you have gone through treacherous things. If you can’t bear to face it on your own, seek professional help. Therapy shouldn’t be stigmatized.
3) Be Brave, With Heart
It’s scary to look inside of yourself. What if a monster jumps out at you or you take off a bite you can’t handle?
You have to accept the risks that come with deep introspection. It’s going to hurt, you will likely cry. It may take you months, or even years to put your past to bed. What is your other option?
You want to let go of your past so you can be happy again. No one said this path is easy, that’s why many spend their entire lives avoiding their inner being. The past is always with you no matter how fast you run.
It takes all the courage, honesty, and heart you have in you to start the healing process. Be brave. Bring your entire heart forward and start the healing process.
This is not a situation where you can band-aid it and move on, you have to get right to the core of it without fear.
4) Bring Love and Kindness into Your Life
You need to be as kind as possible to yourself during this process. You’re going to hit walls and want to give up. If you aren’t bringing love into the equation, you’ll quit in frustration.
Love even the darkest moments of your past. By showing these moments of torment and despair some love, you’ll find that you will be able to navigate them better. They aren’t separate from you, even if you have been avoiding them for the better part of your life.
Even if you only make it one second into the process, don’t beat yourself up. That’s one second more than you’ve done before. It’s like building muscle, it takes time to get anywhere.
Only bear as much as you can handle. No more and no less. Take your time with it, you’ll find that as you progress that you’ll be able to face your past in full force. The moment you stop hiding from your past is the moment you can start to be happy again.
5) Keep Trying
This process takes time. In a world where we’re all used to getting what we want instantly, it can be hard to cope without instant gratification.
But your deepest being deserves to be freed. Your intuition has guided you to begin the process on its own. Even your “inner demons” are trying to help you, they are showing you exactly where you need to go!
You won’t heal your past overnight. I’ll be honest with you, if there was another way I would let you know. You’re not here to get solutions that will get you through the next day or two only to find yourself back where you started.
You’re here for real lasting results that can help you overcome your tormenting past. This is the way forward.
I never said it would be easy! That’s why you need to keep trying. You will feel that you’ve taken steps backward some days. That’s totally normal, but you have to keep at it.
You will see your results if you allow yourself to be present with your past.
Slow and steady is what you’re aiming for. Keep at it and keep your head up. You got this.