Everyone gets off balance once in a while. The issue you may be having is that it seems that it has been difficult getting back into a state of equilibrium. When you are not centered, your perception can shift making life seem more difficult. How exactly do you center yourself when you get off balance?
To center yourself, you must first find what it is exactly is causing you to stay off-center. Often times it is your anxiety or fears that push you out of the present moment. Fixing the source of the cause will return you to a balanced state.
Why You Become Unbalanced
Whether it be a fear that is consuming you or anxiety that has taken over your day, it is important to realize why you became unbalanced.
When you are centered, there are no qualms. Everything is peaceful, there are no objections to reality. Your reality is an outward projection of the mind, whatever it feels, the world will reflect back.
This is why first understanding what is causing the issue is critical. Without knowing exactly why you feel like this, there is no way for you to find the solution.
I’d like to invite you to first take a deep breath, remind yourself everything will be ok and continue.
The mind is an incredibly powerful tool. When you go about your day, there are many thoughts that zip in and out. Some of these thoughts may have caught your attention, they may have struck a nerve.
You might have remembered something about the past that you have forgotten. You might have thought about the future and begun to worry.
It’s at these exact moments that you begin to lose your balance.
The second the mind has a thought that you object with or become fearful of, this is the moment that these thoughts begin to start their vicious cycle.
The anxiety provocation of certain thoughts can be like poison to the mind. These thoughts feed off of our anxiety and fears. Without them, they would cease to exist and yet we continue feeding them.
This is why you may feel stuck at this moment. It doesn’t matter exactly what it is, the only thing that is important is to find exactly what it is and focus on it.
Try to find the exact point in time when you started to lose your balance.
Work backwards. This is the solution to begin finding your center again.
Targetting The Source
To begin on your journey back to the center, try to find a quiet place where you have some privacy. Begin asking yourself these questions:
- What exactly is causing this disturbance in the mind?
- Why am I feeling off-balanced?
- Am I worried about the past or a future event?
- Is there anything that I can do right now to make myself feel better?
When you give the mind a chance to have some quiet amidst all the pressures of life, the mind will speak back to you. It will hear you asking and it will answer.
It is fairly important that you listen and that you listen closely. Far too often have I made the mistake of not listening to myself when I was in times where I was full of anxiety or fear and I knew exactly what it was I needed to do but I didn’t take any action.
It will be up to you whether or not you decide to do anything about your situation. You may be facing an incredibly difficult time in your life that may be causing you additional stress. This is perfectly normal. Take it easy on yourself, sometimes we can’t always be centered.
When you start getting the idea of what it is exactly that is causing you issues, it’s time to start taking action. Most of the time our first instinct is to push our thoughts out of the mind or distract ourselves. This is only a short term band-aid over a gaping wound.
Addressing these thoughts in the mind may bring up some difficult memories or fears that need to be looked at.
It is in these moments that you must remember that the temporary discomfort is better than the long-lasting effects that avoiding yourself has on the body and mind.
Dealing With The Issue
If the reason you are feeling unbalanced is because of something that you cannot change, I urge you to quickly realize that there is nothing you can do.
Instead of looking at this in a negative light, I invite you to see the beauty. There are so many things in life you just cannot change and this frees our mind from the burden of having to worry about them.
It’s refreshing to know that if you can’t physically do anything about it, then you have to let it go. Practice that yourself, remind yourself the next time you are trying to center yourself how you have to let go of whatever you cannot change.
If it IS something that you can deal with, then it is time you stop avoiding. It may be that you may have to confront someone or make a decision that you have been putting off.
The time is now. The faster you resolve these issues, the faster you will return back to the center in your spiritual life.
You can’t go about life avoiding these moments. It may hurt, yes, I completely understand but I’ve had plenty of times where the outcome I pictured in my mind just didn’t amount to what reality had to show.
I would always imagine devastating outcomes for situations and replay them in my mind. When it came time to actually deal with these in reality, the outcomes were surprisingly tame.
The fear and anxiety will eat you alive if you don’t confront them head on.
Take action when you can and surrender when you can’t.
What If I Don’t Know Why I’m Not Centered?
It is certainly possible that you are in a position where there isn’t actually a source or reason why you aren’t centered.
The key to these scenarios is that you mustn’t force. The key is acceptance. Accepting where you are right now will always be the best solution.
When you are in acceptance, you are naturally at the center. This may be a bit confusing, but sometimes we find ourselves with a reality that we object with.
There will be times when we do feel sad or angry, and it is possible to be completely centered in these moments. It just means that you aren’t running from them, you are choosing to confront these feelings instead of trying to hide.
When you don’t exactly know why you are centered, there are plenty of ways for you to try and find your way back. Here are a few ways.
Here is an introductory guide to meditation by Mindful if you are a beginner.
Meditation is one of the best ways to find your way back to the center. While I mentioned you should ask yourself a variety of questions earlier in the article, doing this during a meditation session will allow the mind to search deep within and find the answers you are looking for.
Finding your center is the purpose of meditation, it is the practice of observation. It is finding the present moment and seeing what it is exactly that is going on right now.
Whatever it may be that is causing you to be off-center, meditation will help you find it and guide you back to being centered again.
It may take more than one session to find your center again, that is perfectly fine. In life, there are plenty of phases that we go through where we have to do some deep digging and find exactly what it is that is causing us distress.
These are the moments that you will grow from. Not only will you grow from them, but it will also be a learning experience for the next time you try to find your center again. Instead of it being this huge process, it will become natural for you.
2) Forgiving Yourself
Don’t be so hard on yourself!
I have this issue as well. I find myself trying to force things to be a certain way instead of just allowing them to be as they are. This just makes these moments so much more difficult, instead of them passing by I create even more turmoil by being so harsh on myself.
You won’t always be centered, that is a fact. I would say that being off-center is as important as being centered because this is how you learn to find the present moment through difficult times.
It’s always such a relief to find yourself back at the center after prolonged periods of time where you just couldn’t find any comfort. All the anxiety and fear, pushing, and pulling.
If you just forgive yourself, there is no longer a burden on the mind to do anything.
It is possible to be at peace right now, no matter what your situation may be. Peace is a state of mind and nothing more. Peace is just acceptance of your reality, it doesn’t necessarily mean good or bad.
Practice forgiving yourself, you have to love yourself above all else. If you fail to do so, there is a mountain for you to climb to find your center again.
Without self-love, peace is not truly available to us. It’s a simple matter of acceptance. Accept your present reality for what it is.
3) Give a Helping Hand
There was a period in my life that lasted about three years where I didn’t feel centered at all. I consider myself a spiritual person and yet I knew that my life path was going down the wrong direction.
It was all about me, all I cared about was me, my money, and how successful I was going to be. It all came crashing down eventually, but that story is for a different time.
The point is the reason why I didn’t feel centered was that everything was solely based around ME. I didn’t care about anyone else, I would do anything to jump ahead in line. I would stay awake for days and weeks to make an extra dollar. I was slowly killing myself.
Being centered is going to be impossible when the only thing you care about is yourself. When you aren’t helping others, you have lost sight of what is important.
Your life isn’t just about you. It’s about everyone around you. Life is about giving back, putting smiles on people’s faces. There shouldn’t be a focus solely on you throughout your life.
If you have tried everything and still can’t find your way back to your center, I urge you to take a look at where your life is headed.
Is this what you would call a “life worth living”? If not, bite the bullet and change before it’s too late.
You only have one life, after all.
4) Surrender to The Moment
If you just give in, rather than put up a fight, you will find your center again.
It is so important that we don’t actively try to fight battles that we cannot win. All too often we get stuck wishing things could be different and yet this only creates more turmoil.
5) Give Yourself Time
You won’t be centered every minute of every day, that just isn’t how it works.
These moments where you are feeling off-balanced are here to teach you how to get back to your center. These are the moments in your spiritual life where you will grow the most.
It’s important to never forget this. Life will bring these moments to us so that we CAN learn from them.
This is why no matter what state I’m in, I’m thankful. I know that over time, everything will pass.
Even in the worst, darkest moments, I know that “This too shall pass.” has always proven to be true.
Sometimes, it just takes time!
Time heals all wounds. If you’ve done everything you can, then give yourself a break and love yourself. Don’t worry too much about it, sometimes we just need to take time to let our soul heal itself.
Once you are completely out of options, there isn’t anything left to do. These are the precise moments we give in and give up our grip of control on life.
This is what frees us, this is what actually centers us, not just temporarily, but long term.
When we know that we aren’t truly in control as much as we think we are, attachment stops. When attachments are ending, this is where freedom truly lies.
If all else fails, just be patient. It will get better.
While you cannot be centered for the rest of time, it is important to learn why exactly it is that you become off-balanced. This learning process will help you later on in life where you are in the same position.
Your earlier experiences out of balance will lead to an easier centering process and over time this will become an intuitive practice. Through conscious effort in the beginning stages, your mind will learn exactly what it is it needs to do to find its way back to the center.
If you are feeling lost or confused, don’t worry, sometimes it just takes time for wounds to heal.
There are plenty of tools to use to get back to the center, so use them. Don’t be afraid, have an open heart and be brave.