You were happy once before, right?
Everyone has a moment where life felt magical and deep down you felt true happiness.
Life brings us situations that we aren’t in control of. You might feel that things won’t ever get better and most importantly, how to be happy.
Being happy before once is the only requirement to feeling happy again. You can’t force your happiness, but it is possible to ease your mind and remember what makes life worth living.
Below are 21 tips to help you figure out how to be happy again.
1) Accept Your Situation
“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.”Eckhart Tolle
Freedom in life lies in your ability to accept the present moment.
Life is tough. There are moments that make even the toughest person wish that life was different. You aren’t the only person in the world that has gone through a trying time.
Acceptance is not simply saying or thinking that you are in compliance with your situation. It’s a mind-body feeling, it goes right into your deepest being.
When acceptance is felt throughout the mind and body, internal struggle melts away.
You don’t need to accept your situation right now in its entirety. But it would help you feel better by accepting that your feelings won’t last forever.
Start by accepting the tiny details. Accept that you are a human with emotions. Accept that you have been happy before and will be happy again.
When you’re ready, practice accepting the situation that keeps you from happiness.
Life is about ups and downs. Without negative feelings, you would never be able to experience the highs that life has to offer.
I cannot stop recommending meditation. Do you know why?
Because it works.
Meditation reminds you of the present moment. With our busy lives passing us by, it’s getting harder by the second to stay in touch with ourselves.
Meditation slows the world down and brings back your attention to the now.
When you are in line with your body, mind, and soul there is no disagreement with reality. You aren’t creating stories or doubting yourself, you are simply experiencing the moment as it is. The pure essence of reality, the present moment.
In a study, meditation was found to support the following:
The results supported the model of mindfulness and self-compassion facets as partial mediators of the meditation–happiness relationship. Findings are in line with other studies and provide evidence about the influence of mindfulness and self-compassion on happiness.https://www.researchgate.net/publication/281643912_Meditation_and_happiness_Mindfulness_and_self-compassion_may_mediate_the_meditation-happiness_relationship
Countless other studies have been done to support the theory that, you guessed it, meditation works!
It’s the most historical method of therapy known to man. Meditation has been used for thousands of years and been utilized with great success.
You don’t need to be a monk to start meditating. Check out this guide by Headspace if you are a beginner.
Start small and work your way up. Rome wasn’t built in a day. I do promise you that if you stick with meditation, you will be able to find happiness again.
3) Change What You Can
Accept what you can’t change and fix what you can.
When you are at your lowest point, tackling any obstacle seems like a feat.
If your room is a mess, start there, it will make you feel better.
Even the tiniest of efforts can have an incredible impact. You only need to start feeling happy again for a second to realize that the possibility is there.
You can’t fix everything in life. By focusing only on what you can, you’re accepting that you don’t have as much control as you once thought.
Focus on what you can to let yourself move forward in life. The absolute worst thing you can do is start a never-ending pity party.
Grieving is necessary – but feeling sorry for yourself is only going to hold you back.
4) Start From the Bottom
You aren’t happy right this second and that’s ok.
Feeling down is a part of life, it’s important to start where you are.
It would be easy if all of your problems were instantly solved, but that idea isn’t helping you. It’s only furthering you from your mission of feeling happy again.
Being at ease with your situation allows you to move forward. You aren’t doing yourself any favors by wishing things were different.
The other day I caught myself daydreaming – it was fairly odd. I was fantasizing about how my life could have been if made better decisions.
Then the thought came up – “Day dreaming”.. I instantly snapped out of the haze.
I was so out of the present moment that I had forgotten what life was all about. It was a trance like state that came over me.
When you’re feeling similar, snap yourself out of it. Become aware of how daydreaming about a different life isn’t making a difference in your own life.
Take action, start changing.
5) Take Massive Action
Taking massive actions means massive changes in your life.
Before I started this blog, I was beating myself up every day. A friend messaged me out of the blue and we caught up as we haven’t talked in a while.
I mentioned my hard times to him and how deep inside my mission was to start helping people.
“You have to help yourself before you can help anyone else” he said.
It’s not that I didn’t know that already, I did. I was incapable of listening to myself even though I knew better.
I had enough feeling sorry for myself. I quit playing video games all day, I started researching, I began writing.
I wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t called me that day.
The same can be said for you. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, what can you accomplish within a year?
Set realistic goals and then fight for your life, every day. It’s hard to feel unhappy when you’re on a mission.
The journey is where you find the happiness, not the end goal.
Even a small amount of exercise can get those endorphins rushing again.
Available evidence supports the notion that physical activity can confer protection against the emergence of depression regardless of age and geographical region.Psychiatry Online
The mind is not separate from the body, they work in conjunction. If your body is lacking the exercise it requires, the brain no longer receives endorphins that help you feel happy.
You don’t need to go to the gym or even run, – a 30 minute walk around your neighborhood is more than enough.
Some of my greatest pleasures in life are from taking walks, releasing all the tension built up throughout the day, and enjoying the fresh air. I find that 30 minutes is a great balance between getting SOME exercise and not turning it into an exercise into a detrimental aspect of my life.
When you’re unhappy even getting out of bed can seem like a challenge let alone go for a walk. If you can’t manage 30 minutes, tell yourself you’ll only go for one minute.
It’s a cool trick, just one minute! You’ll likely find that you’re enjoying it for that one minute and continue, if not you’re more than free to go back inside.
More annoying, run of the mill advice.
“Eat right, exercise, meditate.. when will I get the real stuff that will make me happy?”
If there was a magic pill, you wouldn’t be reading this post. Why does everyone focus on the cores of humanity before offering any other advice?
It’s because it. works.
You don’t see it clearly because of your mental state. All of the advice in the world won’t help you if you don’t take the advice to heart and use it.
By eating whole, nutritious foods and avoiding processed junk, you are feeding yourself the nutrition you need to produce harmony within the body and mind.
Cut out the junk food, fast food, and sodas. Drink more water. Don’t take your basic needs for granted.
When you feel down you forget to take care of yourself, that’s why you have to start from the basics.
How do you build a house? You start with the foundation first.
When you try to get over humps in life, you focus on the basics.
Work from the ground up. Don’t overwhelm yourself.
8) Don’t Rush It
“King Solomon once searched for a cure against depression. He assembled his wise men together. They meditated for a long time and gave him the following advice: Make yourself a ring and have thereon engraved the words ‘This too will pass.’ The King carried out the advice. He had the ring made and wore it constantly. Every time he felt sad and depressed, he looked at the ring, whereon his mood would change and he would feel cheerful”Avi Solomon
The emotions you feel now won’t be felt forever.
You have to give yourself time. Time heals all wounds, “This too shall pass”.
Life brings us to reflect during certain periods of life. Without this retrospection, you wouldn’t be able to grow your soul.
A few weeks of unhappiness can turn into a bout of depression that can last months if not years.
By giving yourself time, you’re letting yourself experience the emotions that are running through your mind and body. You get over your darkest periods with periods of mourning. Trying to rush the process only ends in frustration.
Do you have family members or friends that are keeping you down?
Toxic family dynamics can be hard to recognize. Any behavior or scenario that makes you feel unloved, unwanted, or even just bad about yourself is most likely not a healthy one.Healthline.com
Families and friends aren’t perfect, there are moments where you can feel let down. We all feel that at times, but it isn’t normal when it’s a common occurrence.
Be objective about your interactions with your friends and family.
Have they been benefiting you? Have you felt supported and loved or shunned and unwanted?
Ask for space to ground yourself. When you’re experiencing other’s emotions it can be difficult to differentiate from our own. That’s why removing toxicity is a great way to start to feel happy again.
Humans are constantly vibrating, if you are around negative vibrations all the time it’s no wonder you aren’t happy!
10) Be With Loved Ones
I tend to keep to myself when I get unhappy. The last time I was in a rut, I made the mistake of pushing away my friends and family.
My friend urged me to get out of the house and have a cup of coffee with him. He knew that I had been feeling down but getting me out of the house was a challenge.
I cleaned my apartment, groomed myself to look presentable, and then went to meet. All of those actions got me closer to happiness. Humans need each other in times of need.
Loathing in self pity is never the answer. Reach out to your friends and family and connect with them.
Your support group is there to be leaned on. You aren’t a burden to anyone.
Repeat that sentence again. You are not a burden to anyone.
Your mind is great at staying in comfort. The longer you stay sad and upset, the harder it is to feel happy again. Your mind is tricking you into believing you’re a wet-blanket.
Reach out to your loved ones, they are there for you.
11) Get Help
Life wasn’t meant to be lived alone. If you aren’t able to talk with your family or friends about your feelings, then hiring a therapist/counselor is your best bet.
Therapy can help improve symptoms of many mental health conditions. In therapy, people also learn to cope with symptoms that may not respond to treatment right away. Research shows the benefits of therapy last longer than medication aloneGood Therapy
Some of my biggest breakthroughs were when I was able to freely talk with a therapist about my issues. When you are able to let out everything without any worry or judgment, it makes letting go easier.
Therapy removes these worries by allowing you to get feedback with a person who isn’t involved in your life in any way.
The stigma from therapy is long gone. Only your own judgment of your own actions is keeping you from helping yourself.
It’s never too late to ask for help.
12) Change Things Up
When you live the same routine, day in day out, life feels like a broken record.
Getting into a routine brings structure but repetition gets old, real fast. Try changing things up a bit.
Eat at a new restaurant. Talk to new people. Read a genre of book that you aren’t used to. Watch new movies.
There are endless opportunities in life. If you think that you’ve seen it all, you haven’t looked hard enough.
When you are unhappy everything can seem pointless and dreary. That’s why you need to take life by the reins and start mixing it up.
Variety is the spice of life!
13) Cut Out Social Media
Do you think everyone is living a picture perfect life behind their camera?
They are trying to keep their heads above water, just like you and I. Social media isn’t reality. When you’re mindlessly scrolling through social media, you start doubting your own life.
“Everyone except me is happy.”
You know that isn’t true. But it can be hard to distance yourself when social media is a habit.
Unplug yourself and delete all of your applications for a few days. You need to stop comparing your life to others, you will never win.
It’s not a fair battle, you cannot compete with the snapshot of perfection everyone portrays themselves to be in. They are human too, remember that.
14) Don’t Push Away Negativity
Trying to run away from your emotions only magnifies them.
You can run for a certain period of time but it all comes crashing down one way or another. What makes negative emotions so bad, anyway?
You wouldn’t push away your positive emotions, right? Emotions are Yin and Yang. You cannot have one without the other, negativity is needed in life.
It’s ok to feel down, it’s normal! The less you are in resistance with your emotions the faster you will get over them. It’s an incredibly simple technique with amazing results.
Try to sit with your emotions for a few minutes at a time. If it’s too much for you to bear, then take a break.
It’ll be eye-opening how much you better you can feel by embracing negativity.
Dive into what you are unhappy about. Knowing your source of unhappiness lets you fix the issue.
- Why am I unhappy?
- Is there anything that I can change?
- What can’t I change?
- Why am I letting myself stay unhappy instead of fixing my situation?
Get to the core of what’s driving your state of being. The explanation is there even if it may seem that there isn’t any rhyme or reason.
Taking the initiative to understand yourself better is how you start feeling happy again. Write it all down if need be.
Happiness doesn’t come out of thin air. Your state of being is determined by the actions you take today. If there are areas in your life that need addressing, start.
The more you question the more you uncover about yourself.
16) Don’t Let Fear Take Over
“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.”Marie Curie
If you’re afraid of never being happy again, that’s your fear talking. You will eventually be able to feel at ease and have peace back in your life.
You need to be open to understand your situation instead of being afraid of it. With understanding comes resolution and with resolution comes peace.
The hard part is having patience and not knowing when it is you will feel better. It may be today, three days from now or a few weeks/months. Uncertainty is a part of life, our unhappiness exposes our lack of control.
Be at ease with the unknown. You’re going through a learning experience, take as much out of it as you can.
17) Relive Your Previous Loves
Nostalgia made me feel that my life had roots and continuity. It made me feel good about myself and my relationships. It provided a texture to my life and gave me strength to move forwardDr Sedikides
Avoid getting hung up on your previous life, but do attempt to find the joy you once experienced. Whether you have old photos to rummage through, movies and music to listen to or an old friend to call up, there are plenty of reminders to make you feel happy again.
The value of nostalgia cannot be ignored. Your past experiences made up who you are today, you are bound to find one moment that lights your heart up.
When I was deeply depressed I would replay a video of my sister’s dog. I was so lonely and down, but that video gave me a moment of peace and happiness. It got me through one of the toughest times in my life.
Pull up your favorite old photos, movies or albums and remember the times when you were happy. You can be happy, you just need to realize it.
18) Give Up
I don’t mean the “I’m going to sit in my room and cry for weeks” give up. I mean the “There isn’t anything I can do about my situation” give up.
The real problem, we finally realized, wasn’t the one we were trying to solve. It was that we were so focused on finding a solution that we never stopped to question whether we should even be doing the thing causing us problems in the first place. The solution we were too tunnel-visioned to see turned out to be the simplest: Just stop doing that thing. Duh.NY Times
Giving up doesn’t mean you are losing. Instead of banging your head against a steel wall, you’re opening the door.
You may need to give up to let go and move forward. The amount of self awareness it requires is immense, but the resulting freedom you attain from cutting your losses is extraodinary.
Life isn’t a linear line, it’s a 3D maze. You’re the only person that has control over it and to continuously repeating the same actions over and over isn’t helping you escape the maze.
19) Give In
Accept that you aren’t happy at the moment. When you stop fighting yourself about your unhappiness, you give yourself a chance to be happy.
You will never win the battle inside of your head. Thought cannot be defeated, that’s why instead of fighting you have to bring acceptance into your life.
It’s counterintuitive, you might jump to conclusions and think that you will let these negative emotions take over your soul.
But the reality is that the moment you stop fighting yourself, there isn’t much left to be unhappy about. Long term unhappiness stems from the inability to accept the present moment.
It’s a simple action with amazing consequences.
When you determine your self worth by the outer world it becomes difficult to find lasting fulfillment.
Here at Claiming Clarity we focus on finding your own answers and direction. No one is capable of telling you what to think, only you have the power within.
And that’s the magical part of spirituality. You are your own guru.
Getting to know yourself and the universe better is a gift that should be welcomed with open arms. If you haven’t tried it out, you can check out this guide on starting a spiritual journey.
My favorite part of the day is listening to music and enjoying a nice meal. It doesn’t take much to make me happy, I’ve found a way to bring fulfillment from the tiniest moments in life.
That’s where most get it wrong – they look for some one or some thing to make them happy. Peace is already within your deepest being waiting to be found.
21)Try to be Happy.. Again!
How hard have you attempted to make yourself happy again, seriously?
It’s easy to sit and pout. It’s hard to put in the time to develop a life that you’re satisfied with
Your unhappiness is a gift that is pushing you to look deep inside of your soul and find what makes you happy. It may be that life isn’t going a certain direction for you and you need to change paths.
Accept it, let go and move forward. Letting yourself be stuck with an icecream watching Netflix for the fourth weekend in a row hasn’t gotten you anywhere.
Take massive action, read a book or two, talk to a friend. Put in the effort and you will find that you even forgot what made you unhappy in the first place.
Humans weren’t meant to sit still and ponder for eternity. Keep yourself in motion, do the work and reap the rewards.
You Will Be Happy Again
Time will take care of you.
Work on what you can change, let go of what you can’t.
Remind yourself that you were happy once before. You will be happy again, eventually.
Don’t get in the way of yourself of being happy.
You want the best for you, right?