“Your life is over when you hit your 30s.”
I failed in my 20s. Big time. I made a few bad decisions. I destroyed years of hard work forcing me to start over from a blank slate.
It was for the better. If I didn’t have years of failure behind me, my 30s would only be a starting point and not a launching pad.
I have the experience, perspective, and confidence to keep moving forward. My life isn’t about to end, it’s beginning.
If you’re lost, it’s ok. I STILL feel lost some days.
I’ve learned you have to keep pushing in life. I’ll lay out the VITAL lessons I’ve learned below in my 20s and hope that you can do the impossible – learn from someone else’s mistakes.
5 Tips When Feeling Lost In Your 20s
1) Fail as much as you can
Remember how I said I failed? That involved losing my net worth, which if invested properly would have been enough to retire. Did I cry over it? Yes, but that’s in the past now.
As I climb up the proverbial ladder again, the strength to pull myself up is incredible. I’ve already gone down the path of seemingly never-ending failure and come out the other side. Going down the same path has been 100x easier.
If I’ve only learned one thing in my 20s it’s this: Put all of your dedication into one thing for a year. You WILL find success by the end.
You won’t be a master. You’ll only have dipped your tiny little pinky toe into the vast ocean of growth, but that’s the start you need. You need to feel in your deepest being that you can grow, fail, get back up and learn.
If you KNOW that you triumph over all failure, you won’t be afraid of failing.
Go after what it is you want. You’ll only know what you REALLY want until you’ve lived a day in your dream’s shoes.
2) Get over yourself, man
You aren’t special. You’re one tiny speck of dust in a limitless universe.
Why do you take yourself so seriously?
Laugh. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at everyone taking life seriously. When you drop a carton of eggs on the floor, don’t get mad. Laugh at the mistake, and start cleaning it up.
Hanging on to every itty-bitty detail is only going to lead to suffering that will torture you. Let go, or be dragged through life by the neck. In the end, we all decide our own suffering.
The difference between me and most is that I’ve realized it’s all a game. Win, lose, it doesn’t matter. We’re all doomed to the same fate, why not laugh on the way there?
I started my 20s a drug addict and a smoker. I’ve been sober for 6 years and quit smoking a few months ago. It’s. Worth. It.
If you’re thinking about quitting, or have a problem, don’t be afraid to reach out for help. If I didn’t quit doing drugs, I’d be dead already.
The past 2 years have been hell for me. I was diagnosed with a brain condition that affects eyesight and the side effects are gnarly. The medication makes you feel like shit, too!
I’ve learned how amazing it is just to feel normal. When your health is ripped away from you, you realize what’s important. Thankfully, I’m closing in on remission.
It felt like the disease was some cosmic force making me sit down and take a good look at the past few years of my life. I was running on empty and it left me burned out to a point I didn’t know who I was anymore.
I realized that I could be happy, even without the things I thought were necessary to be happy. It’s about enjoying a cup of coffee in the morning and waking up hangover-free.
Take care of yourself.
4) Speak the truth, not the half truth
Proper communication is how you find release. You’re going to need to express how you feel — or it’ll stay bottled up inside.
You HAVE to have boundaries set in place or others will walk right over you. It’s not their fault, you weren’t honest with your intentions in the first place.
The anger/dread/guilt stewing inside of you has nowhere to escape unless you learn how to communicate your feelings. It’s going to be messy. You will fight. You will lose “friends”. But that’s how relationships are built.
If your “friend” decided to bail as soon as you tell them that they’ve crossed a line, then they weren’t truly your friend.
Above all though you need to be honest with how you feel on the inside. You can’t outrun yourself.
We’re all men(and women)it’s ok to cry. Life sucks sometimes, it’s not all going to be roses.
Cry when you need to. Don’t forget to dance when the time comes, though.
5) “Hustling” Isn’t Worth a Damn Thing
I hate that I bought into hustle culture early on in my 20s. It taught me a lot, but I learned that the lifestyle is nothing but a facade.
I spent every moment grinding. Waiting to cross the finish line, expecting to be happy when I met my goals. But I forgot why exactly I started to work so hard in the first place.
It was so I could be happy. So I could be free. In the end, I had to leave a path of rubble in my 20s so I can make way for doing my 30s, properly.
You don’t need to be making 500/hr to be happy in life. It’s about finding happiness along your journey rather than the end.
Because you won’t find happiness at the end. Once you reach the top, there isn’t anywhere to go. You’re left moving your goal posts, hoping that eventually, it’ll make you happy.
Find your happiness here, now. Ditch the intoxicating self-help BS that has seeped its way into our generation. Find your own way of living, and live.
Your 20s are just a warmup for your 30s. You got this.